Weighty Issues

So maybe this is partially just me being a normal pregnant woman, worried about everything, but I have to get it out anyway. I am worried that I haven't gained any weight. I lost 5 pounds in the first trimester, and have been really steady at my current weight for at least a month. (5 pounds down). I'm 14 weeks now, and my belly is starting to stick out a bit (though, again, hardly anyone can tell - maybe no one but DH and me), and I'm still net negative. All the websites say I should have gained about 5 by now. We'll see what the doctor says on Thursday, but I'm nervous.

And since it's been almost a month since I've been to el doctor, I feel nervous about the upcoming visit. What if they can't find the heartbeat? Or what if they do but they don't know that the baby's not growing correctly? So much can still go wrong, I'm still worried. I know that stress and worrying don't help anything, but I'm still nervous. It's weird because I'm so excited about this baby but at the same time part of me tries to make some sort of wall, preparing myself for the possibility that it won't pan out. As is typical of my ever-planning personality, I am always thinking of what to do if we get bad news. I actually had to stop myself from making a list of people we'd email just in case. How morbid is that? Seriously.

I am ready to go to the doc, hear the baby's heartbeat, and feel a bit more at ease. But I have a final to study for before that. Perhaps that means I should get to outlining Securities law. Blech.